Subject: Self-introduction
Dear Professor Brad,
My name is Yio Xue Le and I am writing to formally introduce myself to you. I graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic with a diploma in electrical engineering with Eco-design and currently pursuing a bachelor in sustainable infrastructure engineering (land) in Singapore Institute of Technology. During my life in Nanyang Polytechnic, I became more interested in engineering and it is part of the reason why I chose this course.
My weakness in communication is the lack of confidence to speak and unable to express myself clearly. Whenever I am in front of an audience I tend to get nervous and blank out. Even though I practiced many times for my presentation, I am still unable to get used to speaking in front of an audience. In a group discussion, I tend to just listen to others and follow through as I do not have the confidence to speak up.
Gradually, listening to others made me a good listener which became my strength in communication. Listening is part of effective communication as it allows people to understand the meaning behind the words of what others talk about. By listening to others I am able to understand them better and get the work done efficiently and correctly.
My goals after going through this module are to be able to improve my confidence in speaking and my writing skill. It is not just to get a good grade for the module as it is an important skill that we all need in our daily life.
Thank You
Best regards,
Yio Xue Le
SIE2016, Group 5
Edited: 13 September 2017
18 September 2017
23 September 2017
Read & Commented:
Wong Jun Peng
Keric Phua
Yeo Jie Ming
unedited: "During my life in Nanyang Polytechnic I become more..."
ReplyDeleteedited: During my life in Nanyang Polytechnic, I become more..."
Personally i feel that the comma works wonders. If I were to read the sentence aloud, the comma will give me a brief pause before reading the next string of words. Otherwise it will sound very "lor sor" (long-winded) and will cause your audience to shut off from you.
Other than that, good flow in your writing!
Hi keric,
Deletethanks for commenting I had already made the necessary changes.
Regards,
Xue Le
Hi Xue Le! I do agree with Keric about the good flow in your writing (:
ReplyDeleteJust some opinions on your writing:
"choose" - "chose" (should be past tense)
"pursuing for a bachelor" I feel can be better written as "pursuing a bachelor"
"I still unable to get" - "I am still unable to get"
Let's learn tgt in class (: No hard feelings yea ^^
Hi claudia,
Deletethanks for commenting I had already made the necessary amendments.
Regards,
Xue Le
Hi Xue Le,
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your blog, I think it's a well-formatted post however I I feel that the sentence structure, as mentioned below can be improved.
The second paragraph, first line: "My weakness in communication is the lack of confidence to speak and unable to express myself clearly." This could be written as:
"My weaknesses in communication are lacking confidence in public-speaking and expressing my opinions."
Also, instead of writing "in front of an audience" I feel "being infront of a group of people" is better.
In all, let's have our weaknesses be strengths by the end of this course!
Cheers,
Cheron
Hi cheron,
DeleteThanks for commenting, I had made the necessary changes.
Regards,
Xue Le
Dear Xue Le
ReplyDeleteGreat sharing from you. I like how you are able to represent each paragraph with a statement that showcases its content. This makes it easier for the reader to understand especially when it comes to comprehensive and massive page count reports.
Here are some of my views on how to improve the reflection.
1. Para 1, from a reader’s perspective, it would be nice to know how you developed this interest for engineering. It could be due to an inspiration or an event which further arouses the curiosity for the reader and wanting him to read on. That could be worth sharing.
2. Para 2, lack of confidence>> lack in confidence perhaps.
-get used to speaking>> unable to speak fluently in front of.
- In a group discussion>> in group discussions, (this can possible help to reduce word count therefore adding more opportunities to further elaborate other points in the report.
3. Para 3, Listening is part of effective communication>> Listening is integral in effective communication
4. Para 4, improve my writing >> improve my writing skills
Overall, I enjoyed your sharing and am looking forward to getting to know you better.
Cheers
Joel Leow Zhi Yuan
Hi Joel,
DeleteThanks for commenting, I had made the necessary amendments.
Regards,
Xue Le
Hi Xue Le,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing with us your post and I have enjoyed reading it. Overall I think it is very well-written and I believe you have delivered it very clearly for the audience as well. Hence, I took a little more effort to find something that I can improve in your post so that it feels like I have contributed and help you as your group mate!
So here it goes:
Paragraph 1, "I graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic with a diploma in electrical engineering with Eco-design and currently pursuing a bachelor in sustainable infrastructure engineering (land) in Singapore Institute of Technology."
I find that there is nothing wrong with the sentence. However, in my opinion I think you can split the sentence into two so that it would not be so lengthy!
Paragraph 2, "My weakness in communication is the lack of confidence to speak and unable to express myself clearly."
I think it would be better if you wrote it as "my lack of confidence to speak and express myself clearly"
Paragraph 3, "Listening is part of effective communication as it allows people to understand what someone is talking about the meaning behind the words."
I think it would be better if you state that it actually allows 'you' instead of 'people' to understand what 'others' is talking about 'sometimes in between their sentences.'
Last paragraph, "My goals after going through this module are to be able to improve my confidence in speaking and improve my writings. "
I believe that you can phrase it better by saying, 'My goals after going through this module are to improve my confidence in speaking and writing.' There is no need to repeat the word 'improve' twice.
I hope the above has helped you in one way or another. Cheers and see you in class Xue Le!
Hi Jieming,
DeleteThanks for commenting, I had made the necessary changes.
Regards,
Xue Le
Dear Xue Le,
ReplyDeleteThank you for the effort with this formal letter assignment. You concisely describe a bit of your background, a communication strength, a perceived weakness and your goals for the module.
There are some language issues to take note of in this post but they have been mentioned by your peers. Let's work on these in specific and developing your confidence in writing and speaking this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Hi Brad,
DeleteThanks for reading my post, I had made the necessary changes commented by my peers.
Regards,
Xue Le